Belonging isn’t a personality trait — it’s practice.
A “rep” is one small, real-life action that builds social confidence through repetition (not pep talks).
Pick 2 reps per week. Keep them small. Reps count even if it feels awkward.

Teen / Young Adult Reps

Pick 2 per week. Start with Level 1 if you’re stuck or anxious.

LEVEL 1 — MICRO-REPS (LOW PRESSURE)

Say “what’s up” to one person (yes, that counts).

Make eye contact + a quick smile at one person.

Ask one simple question: “How was your weekend?” / “What class is next?”

Give one genuine compliment (specific, not cheesy).

Sit near people instead of isolating (proximity is a rep).

Stay in a social space for 10 minutes even if it feels uncomfortable.

LEVEL 2 — CONNECTION REPS (BUILD MOMENTUM)

Use the 70/30 rule once: ask 2 questions before you share 1 thing.

Match the energy for the first minute (calibration = you’re still you, you just land well).

Join a group conversation with a bridge line: “Wait, what are you guys talking about?”

Leave while it’s going well using a clean exit line: “I’ve gotta run — see you tomorrow.”

Be a “returner”: go back to the same place/activity twice in a week.

LEVEL 3 — BRAVE REPS (BIGGER PAYOFF)

Make one micro-invite: “Want to sit together tomorrow?” / “Wanna walk to class?” / “Study for 20?”

Send one follow-up text within 24 hours: “Good seeing you today.” / “Are you going next week?”

Swap contact info casually: “Are you on Instagram?” / “Want to swap numbers?”

Use one repair line after an awkward moment:
“I talked over you — my bad. What were you saying?”
“I got excited and went on a rant. You go.”
“That came out weird — let me try again.”

IF A REP DOESN’T LAND (ANTI-SPIRAL)

Don’t litigate it. Do a redirect within 48 hours (different person, smaller bid, different setting).

Replace the story with data: “One moment is information, not a verdict.”

Keep your dignity: one bid, then reset (no chasing, no triple-texting).

Starter Plan (2 weeks)

Week 1
One 10-minute rep in a social space.
Use the 70/30 rule once.

Week 2
Return to the same place/activity twice (be a returner).
Make one micro-invite.

Parent Version

Your job isn’t to “make” your teen social. Your job is to create opportunity + reduce friction + reinforce reps (not outcomes).

5 PRINCIPLES

Praise reps, not results: “You showed up” beats “Did you make a friend?”

Keep reps small. Consistency beats intensity.

Don’t interrogate. Ask: “What rep did you do?”

Expect awkward. Awkward is the workout.

Protect dignity. No rescuing, no chasing, no panic problem-solving.

PARENT REPS (WHAT YOU DO)

Pick one “belonging container” (club/sport/class/gym/volunteering) and commit to a 2-week return plan.

Reduce friction (rides, reminders, snacks, predictable schedule).

Pre-game for 60 seconds: choose one rep + one script (“Your only job is 10 minutes.”).

Debrief with 3 questions max: what rep, hardest moment, one tweak.

Support one micro-invite/week and keep hangouts short + structured.

If something doesn’t land: validate first, then plan the next smallest rep within 48 hours.

Note: Choice Point Coaching is coaching support (not therapy) and not for emergencies. If you’re in immediate danger, call 911.